It's amazing how busyness and stress and work makes us sacrifice the things that bring us the most joy. Maybe you don't do this-- but I do. I love writing; I always have. I love reading and I love long walks and I love writing letters to my friends. But I get busy. I work late, and the drive is long and although I do have some time left-- I'm tired, and it's just easier to watch Netflix for an hour than try to remember where I had left off in the book I started reading months ago. The things I love the most do take time and energy, but they are part of me, they define me, and they exercise my mind. Why do I so quickly replace them with mundane activities that simply allow me to shut down my mind? When did I become so lazy.
I've been in a rut before. After I left my semester in college, I came home and didn't have a plan. I got a job in a restaurant and worked about four days a week, maybe 20 hours total. I drove my family's car (ehem... 15-seater van) to work and then drove home. Time that wasn't at work was spent reclined on the couch, my computer on my lap and the TV on. I didn't have many friends in town; most people my age were away at school and the others I was closest too had children to fill up their days. I had a couch and Facebook and whatever mindless show was on at that time. Remembering these days makes my skin crawl. I feel gross, like I need to shower to get these memories off of me. Thankfully this time didn't last long. I got a second job and then a third for a short time. Then I was offered the chance to nanny a sweet, darling little girl and that pulled me right out of even the shallow rut I was still in. There was such purpose again. I got to spend my day loving a child and seeing her grow and learn and explore and helping her along the way. Sometime later I found myself on a new adventure for three months in the Philippines; another experience that altered my life and the way I look at each day. Upon my return, my mind was made up about something. I worked for a couple more months, saved my money, packed my bags and moved to Chicago. There I learned how to take care of myself, I learned to live alone, I got to exist in the same 5 mile radius as my best friend of (now) 17 years, and I discovered the joy of not owning a television. If the time after college was a rut, I was now on top of tall, beautiful, sunny hill (that was sometimes covered in snow). That dream lasted about two years and then I sort of skipped down a road of mini-adventures and spent the next 6 months in Fort Worth with my brand new niece, in Oregon taking care of my late uncle's house, and then a little further down the road in Australia with my cousins. I guess you could say, I got out of that rut.
I didn't do all of those things based on being in a rut, but if you zoom back far enough and look at the timeline bullet points, it sure seems that I was at least motivated not to find myself on the couch holding the clicker again anytime soon. I love my stories and the adventures I've been blessed with, and there isn't a path I've walked down that I regret. Though my globe trotting has come to stop, for now anyway, I am okay and happy because I haven't found myself in another rut. Well, at least not one like before.
I have a great job; one that I didn't anticipate being good at, and yet I have found myself quite at home in this position. I have a great car (that I loooove) and a fantastic group of friends who make me smile and laugh and feel accepted every day. I have goals that I am meeting and new dreams that I am chasing-- at a reasonable pace. There are a few boxes not checked right now, but they're in the works and I'm not worried. I have a lot going on and my life is full, but I sometimes feel like I am in a different sort of rut. In this rut, I slowly let go of the things that once gave me pure enjoyment for the things that pass the time. Down here I'm still proud of myself and where I am, but I don't feel as interested in my life as I used to. Sure, at least when I tell people about my job and how I'm living a "normal" adult life I don't get the looks I used to when I told people about the next adventure I was taking. A job is great and having one that you can count on for years is something I never chased and yet am so thankful for. But it's the outside of work time I'm not proud of; it's my free time that I need to take back. I don't want to be known simply for my job because that isn't who I am. I need to think more and read more and write more. Last time I was in a rut I got off the couch and traveled the world. It's time to see how I'll get out of this one.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Angry.
If someone asked me what my favorite pastime was or what relaxes me, sitting on my computer writing a blog would be close to the top of the list. This time however, I'm not relaxed; I'm rather on edge. But I do know the therapeutic effects writing normally has on me, so I am hoping for better things as I keep going.
About 6 months ago, I moved home. I rather expected this to be a seamless transition; after all, it's home. Family, memories, friends, familiarity. I knew there would be some annoyances and that I was going to be working to get back to the standard I had previously set for myself, but I certainly did not think it was going to be the -- challenge isn't strong enough -- tribulation that it has been. The worst part has been knowing that most of the negative aspects are my own fault.
I love Jane Austen. I love the characters she wrote. There is something so complete about her heroes. They all have flaws as well as charm, and they all go through a journey to improve themselves, usually for the love of another. Pride and Prejudice is by far my favorite example of this. As much as I love the 1995 miniseries (aka, the ONLY version worth watching - ever), after completing it for the zillionth time the other day, I couldn't help but go and grab my copy of the book and read the last few chapters again. The movie cannot capture every delicious piece of dialogue and each moment that makes me smile and cover my face with the book in some subconscious effort to find deeper refuge from reality inside this life-long comfort. The quote above was written about the heroin, Elizabeth Bennet who, although fictional, has made a profound impact on my nearly twenty-four years. Each time I read my favorite book I would feel such a deep satisfaction in realizing a similarity between myself and Lizzy. My dad has often said of me, "she does not suffer fools lightly," and I have always taken that as a compliment as it is something that was natural about me, but something Ms. Bennet also refined. I believe that at most times in my life those closest to me would have been able to describe me in a similar fashion as Lizzy was described. Of myself I have often attested that I do not have the time or the energy to hold grudges and that when I do have a falling out with someone I get over it rather quickly after spending some time alone and clearing my head. This isn't always the case and I have had my share of self-inflicted injuries thanks to dwelling on an offense for too long, but in general, I avoid the petty drama and the heartache that comes from being continually vexed. I've taken pride in my ability to befriend all types of people and personalities and in being a fun, easy person to be around.
It's a curious thing not feeling like yourself. It feels so nonsensical. It's like looking back at your shadow and thinking it looks familiar but then looking eye-to-eye with a stranger in the mirror. I don't feel like me. Right now I don't feel lively and playful. My daily disposition is not easy and joyful. I don't know how to let annoyances pass by me without effect anymore, and I can hardly even describe the character I have played out lately. I wish it were just a character that I could play on command and get all that dirt out and then walk back into my happy shoes, but it hasn't been that way at all. Moving home has brought into the light corners and nooks of which I would have happily remained unaware.
I've become very familiar with projection lately. That is, letting the thoughts I am having about myself, in my own head be re-imagined, and convincing myself they are the thoughts of outside observers. There are two most common thoughts that more than any other thoughts manage to worm their way throughout my entire mind and then plant in the projection room. First, embarrassment. I've had embarrassing moments before; being chased by a herd of cows and misplacing a motor vehicle were definitely near the top. However, I've never experienced anything that filled me with such shame that I couldn't get over it in seconds or at most minutes, and I've gotten plenty of joy from laughing at myself. This is different entirely. I've found myself to be embarrassed of myself. I went from a place of earthly independence; living alone, taking care of myself, fully managing this adulthood in the midst of tall buildings and accomplished people; to having my figurative wings clipped and losing that independence that meant more to me than I ever knew, and taking it's place is just a pile of shame. [Just typing these words feels like digging deep splinters out of my heart and I have to pause to breathe when I realize I'm holding my breath behind my clenched jaw.] There is so much about my life right now that I don't even want to discuss because saying it out loud feels like the mortification one experiences in the dream where they notice they forgot to get dressed before going to school. In an instant the spotlight is on me and I didn't even wear my cute underwear today. It's just me, and that isn't enough.
These are my thoughts. These are the invention of my mind and the last six months, however it is not a difficulty at all to decipher a look or an innocent comment from someone not trapped inside my crazy head and become instantly convinced that these are their thoughts, their judgments, and I am the victim of their harsh criticisms. I have never experienced such deep humiliation as I do now, believing that other people see me the way I see myself.
Embarrassment is not fun at all, however compared to the next emotion, I feel far more equipped to handle shame. I don't know what to do with this one; I just want it out. I'm angry.
I almost feel like I should be in a depressing room sitting on a fold out chair, introducing myself and explaining why I want to quit whatever we're all agreeing to quit. "But... I'm Bekah. I'm... I'm not angry. What are you talking about? An angry person? Nope. That can't be me."
I have been known to get mad. I don't know what siblings don't know how to perfectly enraged each other, but they aren't the ones I'm related to (woohoo, triple negative). The older ones could give you a list of the words and jokes not to even mention around me if you aren't prepared for a verbal battle or at the very least are sarcastic, disgusted comment, and the younger sisters would hopefully be able to advise you not to take my clothes without asking (and then claim you didn't know they were mine- huff!) All these offenses come and go and come again and go again, but the nasty taste of anger and shouting never lingers for long. Like the last emotion, this is different. Each morning I wake up with an anger hangover. The day goes on and I am dodging the hot lava but jumping from one pissed off stone to the next. A disrespectful comment is not just that, it is a sign, sealed, and delivered invitation to a shouting duel, and my words will cut. Little brothers being lazy and rude obviously need confronting, but I know very well I give them precious little warning before letting the fire-breathing dragon inside speak for me. Then there are the offenses I merely observe and am not even involved in. I'm actually not going to give examples here and will spare the perhaps two teaspoons of dignity I'll have when this is done.
There are a lot of really tricky things going on in my life right now, and I have to acknowledge that. The job/career area is back in the dark and looking for new or additional forms of income is a discouraging place to live. A car is 10% necessity 90% paycheck eater/dream crusher in my eyes and not a month has gone by without issues that have far too often left me stranded on the side of the road. Relationships in my home and hometown have not come back easily and some have caused me some very real pain. Then there is the living at home thing. It's a lot. But I've been through a lot before. Stress has never broken me down like this "season" as people keep calling it. Death and loss has hurt so deeply, but I've always been able to keep calm and carry on. Why is this so different? How have I let these unknowns take over the me I took pride in an reduce me to someone who should be living alone in the woods, handing out poisoned apples to unsuspecting, brainless tarts?
The projecting comes into it again. I feel all my forms of identity -- my labels of independence and adventurous spirit and successful high-stress job holder -- being very threatened and even completely removed and I am not at all happy with what is left to define me. The fear that comes from that place manifests in anger. Anger for anyone who would think less of me. Anger for anyone who would think this is okay (yes I am aware of the frightful contradiction here). See, if someone that I am connected with thinks living the life of a parasite is no problemo, that means someone might get the idea that I think that too and that I am choosing this path I find myself on. To counteract that, my siblings have had to endure months of the Bekah Seminar instructing them to pick up their things, unload the dishwasher, think before you say something that is going to enrage your brother, JUST BE USEFUL (honestly, these are all things I hold to strongly, but they haven't been taught from a loving place. Love has been long silenced.)
The more I write the more crazy I feel, so it's time to sum up.
I've recently connected with a Bible study group again. I didn't need to do that to know that these thoughts in my head were not healthy and not from God. My upbringing of faith has given me a foundation at least, even when I feel like all my walls have been knocked down. It has been interesting though to be faced with some questions I haven't thought to ask myself. Many of the questions in the book ask you to explore what you think God requires from you or what you think you have to do to please God. They're asked in a way that assumes you have false ideas of what is required of you. The truth is though, I don't have those. I have been taught grace since before I knew I was being taught anything and it has seeped in. Even in the midst of shame and anger, I don't feel that from my heavenly Father. I know He wants better for me, and I feel him pulling me along even when I'm craning around to get in one more jab, but I never lie in bed at night thinking that He hates me or is angry with me or that I'm not good enough for Him. I've been a mess forever and He has made use of my life in the past, I know He can do it again. The scary reality I've had to discover is that I have higher standards for myself than God has for me. Without Christ I am nothing and I could never even dream of approaching the creator God -- but with Christ I have everything. I am made complete and I am given full access to the help and hope that my King offers me. There doesn't seem to be an atonement that will help me reach my own standards though. Well, there is. It's just getting my life together. If I want to get away from the shame, the mortification, the anger that I feel flowing out of me, I just need to get back to the place where I was proud of myself. I need to work harder, run faster, and for goodness sake don't get trapped in a boring life with no story. I hate being the one that my siblings tip toe around. I hate knowing it's not easy for my mom to talk to me anymore because I might get irrationally angry about something. I hate not feeling like myself and those voices that all sound a lot like me keep saying all that will go away when I just get this "season" this "stage" sorted out. But what if it doesn't...?
About 6 months ago, I moved home. I rather expected this to be a seamless transition; after all, it's home. Family, memories, friends, familiarity. I knew there would be some annoyances and that I was going to be working to get back to the standard I had previously set for myself, but I certainly did not think it was going to be the -- challenge isn't strong enough -- tribulation that it has been. The worst part has been knowing that most of the negative aspects are my own fault.
I love Jane Austen. I love the characters she wrote. There is something so complete about her heroes. They all have flaws as well as charm, and they all go through a journey to improve themselves, usually for the love of another. Pride and Prejudice is by far my favorite example of this. As much as I love the 1995 miniseries (aka, the ONLY version worth watching - ever), after completing it for the zillionth time the other day, I couldn't help but go and grab my copy of the book and read the last few chapters again. The movie cannot capture every delicious piece of dialogue and each moment that makes me smile and cover my face with the book in some subconscious effort to find deeper refuge from reality inside this life-long comfort. The quote above was written about the heroin, Elizabeth Bennet who, although fictional, has made a profound impact on my nearly twenty-four years. Each time I read my favorite book I would feel such a deep satisfaction in realizing a similarity between myself and Lizzy. My dad has often said of me, "she does not suffer fools lightly," and I have always taken that as a compliment as it is something that was natural about me, but something Ms. Bennet also refined. I believe that at most times in my life those closest to me would have been able to describe me in a similar fashion as Lizzy was described. Of myself I have often attested that I do not have the time or the energy to hold grudges and that when I do have a falling out with someone I get over it rather quickly after spending some time alone and clearing my head. This isn't always the case and I have had my share of self-inflicted injuries thanks to dwelling on an offense for too long, but in general, I avoid the petty drama and the heartache that comes from being continually vexed. I've taken pride in my ability to befriend all types of people and personalities and in being a fun, easy person to be around.
It's a curious thing not feeling like yourself. It feels so nonsensical. It's like looking back at your shadow and thinking it looks familiar but then looking eye-to-eye with a stranger in the mirror. I don't feel like me. Right now I don't feel lively and playful. My daily disposition is not easy and joyful. I don't know how to let annoyances pass by me without effect anymore, and I can hardly even describe the character I have played out lately. I wish it were just a character that I could play on command and get all that dirt out and then walk back into my happy shoes, but it hasn't been that way at all. Moving home has brought into the light corners and nooks of which I would have happily remained unaware.
I've become very familiar with projection lately. That is, letting the thoughts I am having about myself, in my own head be re-imagined, and convincing myself they are the thoughts of outside observers. There are two most common thoughts that more than any other thoughts manage to worm their way throughout my entire mind and then plant in the projection room. First, embarrassment. I've had embarrassing moments before; being chased by a herd of cows and misplacing a motor vehicle were definitely near the top. However, I've never experienced anything that filled me with such shame that I couldn't get over it in seconds or at most minutes, and I've gotten plenty of joy from laughing at myself. This is different entirely. I've found myself to be embarrassed of myself. I went from a place of earthly independence; living alone, taking care of myself, fully managing this adulthood in the midst of tall buildings and accomplished people; to having my figurative wings clipped and losing that independence that meant more to me than I ever knew, and taking it's place is just a pile of shame. [Just typing these words feels like digging deep splinters out of my heart and I have to pause to breathe when I realize I'm holding my breath behind my clenched jaw.] There is so much about my life right now that I don't even want to discuss because saying it out loud feels like the mortification one experiences in the dream where they notice they forgot to get dressed before going to school. In an instant the spotlight is on me and I didn't even wear my cute underwear today. It's just me, and that isn't enough.
These are my thoughts. These are the invention of my mind and the last six months, however it is not a difficulty at all to decipher a look or an innocent comment from someone not trapped inside my crazy head and become instantly convinced that these are their thoughts, their judgments, and I am the victim of their harsh criticisms. I have never experienced such deep humiliation as I do now, believing that other people see me the way I see myself.
Embarrassment is not fun at all, however compared to the next emotion, I feel far more equipped to handle shame. I don't know what to do with this one; I just want it out. I'm angry.
I almost feel like I should be in a depressing room sitting on a fold out chair, introducing myself and explaining why I want to quit whatever we're all agreeing to quit. "But... I'm Bekah. I'm... I'm not angry. What are you talking about? An angry person? Nope. That can't be me."
I have been known to get mad. I don't know what siblings don't know how to perfectly enraged each other, but they aren't the ones I'm related to (woohoo, triple negative). The older ones could give you a list of the words and jokes not to even mention around me if you aren't prepared for a verbal battle or at the very least are sarcastic, disgusted comment, and the younger sisters would hopefully be able to advise you not to take my clothes without asking (and then claim you didn't know they were mine- huff!) All these offenses come and go and come again and go again, but the nasty taste of anger and shouting never lingers for long. Like the last emotion, this is different. Each morning I wake up with an anger hangover. The day goes on and I am dodging the hot lava but jumping from one pissed off stone to the next. A disrespectful comment is not just that, it is a sign, sealed, and delivered invitation to a shouting duel, and my words will cut. Little brothers being lazy and rude obviously need confronting, but I know very well I give them precious little warning before letting the fire-breathing dragon inside speak for me. Then there are the offenses I merely observe and am not even involved in. I'm actually not going to give examples here and will spare the perhaps two teaspoons of dignity I'll have when this is done.
There are a lot of really tricky things going on in my life right now, and I have to acknowledge that. The job/career area is back in the dark and looking for new or additional forms of income is a discouraging place to live. A car is 10% necessity 90% paycheck eater/dream crusher in my eyes and not a month has gone by without issues that have far too often left me stranded on the side of the road. Relationships in my home and hometown have not come back easily and some have caused me some very real pain. Then there is the living at home thing. It's a lot. But I've been through a lot before. Stress has never broken me down like this "season" as people keep calling it. Death and loss has hurt so deeply, but I've always been able to keep calm and carry on. Why is this so different? How have I let these unknowns take over the me I took pride in an reduce me to someone who should be living alone in the woods, handing out poisoned apples to unsuspecting, brainless tarts?
The projecting comes into it again. I feel all my forms of identity -- my labels of independence and adventurous spirit and successful high-stress job holder -- being very threatened and even completely removed and I am not at all happy with what is left to define me. The fear that comes from that place manifests in anger. Anger for anyone who would think less of me. Anger for anyone who would think this is okay (yes I am aware of the frightful contradiction here). See, if someone that I am connected with thinks living the life of a parasite is no problemo, that means someone might get the idea that I think that too and that I am choosing this path I find myself on. To counteract that, my siblings have had to endure months of the Bekah Seminar instructing them to pick up their things, unload the dishwasher, think before you say something that is going to enrage your brother, JUST BE USEFUL (honestly, these are all things I hold to strongly, but they haven't been taught from a loving place. Love has been long silenced.)
The more I write the more crazy I feel, so it's time to sum up.
I've recently connected with a Bible study group again. I didn't need to do that to know that these thoughts in my head were not healthy and not from God. My upbringing of faith has given me a foundation at least, even when I feel like all my walls have been knocked down. It has been interesting though to be faced with some questions I haven't thought to ask myself. Many of the questions in the book ask you to explore what you think God requires from you or what you think you have to do to please God. They're asked in a way that assumes you have false ideas of what is required of you. The truth is though, I don't have those. I have been taught grace since before I knew I was being taught anything and it has seeped in. Even in the midst of shame and anger, I don't feel that from my heavenly Father. I know He wants better for me, and I feel him pulling me along even when I'm craning around to get in one more jab, but I never lie in bed at night thinking that He hates me or is angry with me or that I'm not good enough for Him. I've been a mess forever and He has made use of my life in the past, I know He can do it again. The scary reality I've had to discover is that I have higher standards for myself than God has for me. Without Christ I am nothing and I could never even dream of approaching the creator God -- but with Christ I have everything. I am made complete and I am given full access to the help and hope that my King offers me. There doesn't seem to be an atonement that will help me reach my own standards though. Well, there is. It's just getting my life together. If I want to get away from the shame, the mortification, the anger that I feel flowing out of me, I just need to get back to the place where I was proud of myself. I need to work harder, run faster, and for goodness sake don't get trapped in a boring life with no story. I hate being the one that my siblings tip toe around. I hate knowing it's not easy for my mom to talk to me anymore because I might get irrationally angry about something. I hate not feeling like myself and those voices that all sound a lot like me keep saying all that will go away when I just get this "season" this "stage" sorted out. But what if it doesn't...?
Monday, March 10, 2014
I am a Woman, I am not Women
Lately, I have found myself bothered by things that in the past have never seemed like a big deal to me. I don't know if I was just not thinking before or if more life experiences have focused my thoughts and changed my opinions; I do however know, that every single day I see or hear something that is so destructive, and yet sadly also so "normal" and prevalent.
As is the case with most of my posts, I am talking primarily to Christians. Whether we act like it or not, as Christians we are claiming the character of Christ as the thing that we chase and the words of the Bible as the truth that we believe. That means that we believe that every human life deserves respect and has dignity and that we are no better that anyone else (Luke 6:31, Philippians 2:3, Matthew 5:44). It also means that we believe that every life is created uniquely and with a purpose (Psalm 139:13-14, Ephesians 2:10). These are things, obviously, that non-believers can agree with and many of them do; however we have a calling from our heavenly King to go into the world actively displaying these beliefs. Sometimes we do a really lousy job of that. There are many different subjects that I could focus on, but I am writing today about the perceptions and assumptions made about (and by) women.
For the most part, people know how to be polite and appropriate in public. Many times though, we reserve a certain type of humor for our home or times with our closest friends (OR social media). Sometimes, that is fine. Other times, it creates a problem that gets out of hand. Sweeping generalizations of an entire group of people can very covertly damage individuals-- not to mention, the whole stinking group.
Below are a few examples of actual posts that I have seen in the last few months on social media:
As is the case with most of my posts, I am talking primarily to Christians. Whether we act like it or not, as Christians we are claiming the character of Christ as the thing that we chase and the words of the Bible as the truth that we believe. That means that we believe that every human life deserves respect and has dignity and that we are no better that anyone else (Luke 6:31, Philippians 2:3, Matthew 5:44). It also means that we believe that every life is created uniquely and with a purpose (Psalm 139:13-14, Ephesians 2:10). These are things, obviously, that non-believers can agree with and many of them do; however we have a calling from our heavenly King to go into the world actively displaying these beliefs. Sometimes we do a really lousy job of that. There are many different subjects that I could focus on, but I am writing today about the perceptions and assumptions made about (and by) women.
For the most part, people know how to be polite and appropriate in public. Many times though, we reserve a certain type of humor for our home or times with our closest friends (OR social media). Sometimes, that is fine. Other times, it creates a problem that gets out of hand. Sweeping generalizations of an entire group of people can very covertly damage individuals-- not to mention, the whole stinking group.
Below are a few examples of actual posts that I have seen in the last few months on social media:
The general goal here is to make a few people laugh, get some likes, and if anyone complains just write it off as a joke. The problem is, a lot more is communicated by these "funny" quotes. For instance:
- When a married man says or posts something like this, I have to assume that he is unhappy. I mean, really. If a married man is posting or saying something like this he clearly didn't take Proverbs 21:9 seriously.
It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
I always feel strange when this person's wife is a friend of mine. I naturally must either be led to believe that this is an unreasonable man who doesn't treat my friend well... or this woman is a totally different person in her home than anywhere else. Either way, it's got me thinking things that really don't lead anywhere helpful or productive. It is very possible that neither is true, but then why post it? Why joke about it? I simply cannot understand a person who has promised to love and cherish and protect someone finding a "joke" like these appropriate. - When a married woman posts or says something like this, I feel sad. Sad for her husband, who seems to have married a "Proverbs 21 Woman", but also sad that she thinks these things are okay. She seems to think that it is perfectly normal and acceptable for her to demand to always be right and always be understood and to always get her way. She clearly must think all women are this way and so doesn't feel that she is hurting the reputation of the group as a whole. All of this makes me very sad. All these women can be diagnosed with what I like to call the "Everybody Loves Raymond" Condition. Too much exposure to sit-com relationships where the woman is always right and the man is always stupid and the woman gets to talk down to the man and the man must just agree with her has led far too many women in our society to think this is fine. How unhealthy. How destructive. (There is a reason this is not called "The Jim and Pam" Condition.)
- So often, we in the faith community talk about the need for more "godly men" or talk about how sad it is that there are so many absentee fathers or at least crappy boyfriends afraid of commitment. There are so very many causes for the hopeless cycle we are in, but doesn't it seem logical to say that "women/wives are painted in such a miserable light, who would actually want one?" As a single woman, I have to fight comments from friends, comments from acquaintances, and negative personal thoughts about my status. These issues however, are so much easier to overcome than the left and right bombardment single men get about the "ball and chain", about how women are always right, about how having a wife is the same thing to having a constant nagger, about how you can't ever have a coherent, understandable conversation with a woman (do I need to go on?). Seriously, when one of my Facebook friends posts something about how annoying women are all I see is the single dude who also sees it and says, "and this is why I don't date seriously." All over there are men who are not meeting the ever-lowering standards of today's women, and everyone who chooses to marginalize women in this way has at least a tiny portion of that problem to answer for.
I know that doing away with annoying, stupid Facebook posts is not going to solve the problems I've mentioned, but can we all just stop and think a bit before we say "women are all"..."men always"... "rich people don't"... "poor people should"... etc. Let's give every individual a chance to be their own person. We all have enough battles to fight without taking on an entire country's perception of one of our characteristics.
Thank you in advance.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Recap: Oz Speak
This post is frightfully overdue. I will do much better at keeping up with updates, I really will. This was meant to conclude my three months in Australia, which actually ended about a month ago. While I was over there I kept a log of all the bizarre words they used! Okay, I'm kidding. To them, some of our vernacular is weird too. There are also a lot of pronunciation differences, but this list is for different words we use for the same thing. I'm sure you'll know many of these, but some may offer some new laughs.
Australia American
Capsicum Pepper (Red pepper, green pepper...)
Prawns Shrimp (Yes, this means that Australians never say, "Put another shrimp on the barbie"! We've been so fooled!)
Sultanas Raisins
Bickies (Biscuits) Cookies/ Crackers
Tomato Sauce Ketchup (This was confusing since I use tomato sauce for pasta sauce)
Texters Markers
Mobile Cell Phone (This is obvious, but I got made full of for "cell phone" enough to put it on the list.)
Trackies Sweat pants (I think. This seemed to get used for a few things, but I believe it came from "track suit", and was simply abbreviated.)
Lounge Couch/ Sofa (We typically reserve lounge as a verb.)
Pram Stroller (Pram always made me think of the 1950s.)
Bindies Stickers (Like the kind that gets stuck in your foot when you walk barefoot in the grass. This made me laugh so much! It's also an acceptable name.)
Needle Shot/ Injection
Fringe Bangs (I'll admit, ours makes less sense here.)
Plait Braid
Braid French Braid (Nothing confused me more than these last two. I'd be doing one of the girls' hair and always end up saying, "wait, did you want a braid braid or the plait braid or... which was which again?!)
Singlet Tank Top
Gum Boots Rain Boots
Fairy Floss Cotton Candy (Their name is so much more fabulous!)
Bench Counter (i.e. Kitchen counter. Another very confusing one.)
Chemist Drug Store/ Convenient Store
Bottle Shop Liquor Store
and... of course...
Thongs Flip Flops (Yes, it is totally normal to say something like, "Oh, I'm just putting away my husband's thongs.")
Well, there you go! You are ready for your trip Down Under. There are others but these were the ones I kept track of. Throw in some comments of any others that you know! <3
Australia American
Capsicum Pepper (Red pepper, green pepper...)
Prawns Shrimp (Yes, this means that Australians never say, "Put another shrimp on the barbie"! We've been so fooled!)
Sultanas Raisins
Bickies (Biscuits) Cookies/ Crackers
Tomato Sauce Ketchup (This was confusing since I use tomato sauce for pasta sauce)
Texters Markers
Mobile Cell Phone (This is obvious, but I got made full of for "cell phone" enough to put it on the list.)
Trackies Sweat pants (I think. This seemed to get used for a few things, but I believe it came from "track suit", and was simply abbreviated.)
Lounge Couch/ Sofa (We typically reserve lounge as a verb.)
Pram Stroller (Pram always made me think of the 1950s.)
Bindies Stickers (Like the kind that gets stuck in your foot when you walk barefoot in the grass. This made me laugh so much! It's also an acceptable name.)
Needle Shot/ Injection
Fringe Bangs (I'll admit, ours makes less sense here.)
Plait Braid
Braid French Braid (Nothing confused me more than these last two. I'd be doing one of the girls' hair and always end up saying, "wait, did you want a braid braid or the plait braid or... which was which again?!)
Singlet Tank Top
Gum Boots Rain Boots
Fairy Floss Cotton Candy (Their name is so much more fabulous!)
Bench Counter (i.e. Kitchen counter. Another very confusing one.)
Chemist Drug Store/ Convenient Store
Bottle Shop Liquor Store
and... of course...
Thongs Flip Flops (Yes, it is totally normal to say something like, "Oh, I'm just putting away my husband's thongs.")
Well, there you go! You are ready for your trip Down Under. There are others but these were the ones I kept track of. Throw in some comments of any others that you know! <3
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Pictoblog: Australia weeks 7,8, & 9
Most of you know that I have been in Australia for the past 9 (roughly) weeks. I do most of my photo updates on Facebook, but some special events took place in the past few weeks so I decided to do a picture update here. Enjoy!!
Melbourne Cup
The Melbourne Cup is a very big deal horse race over here AND a reason to dress up and drink. We did exactly that.
A huge thank you to COUNTRY AFFAIR in Dungog for my beautiful dress and facinator!! I felt like Kate Middleton. Now just to find a box to bring my sweet head piece home in. :)
If you even get the opportunity to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge, my Lord, take it! What an unforgettable experience and a chance to see Sydney like you never have before. The whole day was amazing and Bridgeclimb and their crew were fantastic. (If you get to chose, make sure your tour guide is Mitch :) )
Melbourne Cup
The Melbourne Cup is a very big deal horse race over here AND a reason to dress up and drink. We did exactly that.
Every great party needs great food. I love this recipe (and my slight variation on it for this event); it has made more than one special day completely delicious. <3
Climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge
Tattoos!
Never did I imagine that I'd spend so much time in a tattoo parlour on this trip. As I've posted about on Facebook, I got a tattoo on my foot eight days after I arrived. I got it touched up last week, just a few days after my cousin got a massive tat on his back. Voodoo Tattoo in Gosford is HIGHLY recommended if you're in the area and needing some ink. They're clean and fun and the whole process was so good that I haven't ruled out the idea of getting another one. ;)
 |
| Cam has a gentle touch :) |
Be sure to FOLLOW THIS BLOG so you can see more fun updates from wherever this life takes me next.
xoxoxox
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Promises Part 3: Scared to Death
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,In this I will be confident. (Psalm 27:1-3)
You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you. (Deuteronomy 3:22)
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11)
When I was younger (and truthfully not much younger) I had a really difficult time with the Old Testament. I liked the Sunday School stories and some of the images were fun to concoct in my imagination. I'd think about what it would be like to be on a single boat with both snakes and mice, both hawks and rabbits. I'd wonder how tall Goliath really was. My favorite was always the parting of the Red Sea. I'd close my eyes and picture walking through the middle of two walls of water so high above my head that I couldn't see the sky. I'd pretend to run my hand along the water and then worry that I might knock it down. Even with all that fun however, the Old Testament always seemed so separate; so foreign. I didn't see how verses and stories could relate to me because I wasn't likely to be in a war with swords and spears being thrown around me, and that seemed to be an element of almost all the stories I heard. It has only been recently that God has started to whisper truths to my heart that I find while reading the Old Testament.
One of my little cousins who I have been living with has a knack for asking "what if" questions. She can take any normal situation and move it to an absurd place far from reality just to ask you what you would do if that were the case. I don't normally answer these questions, I simply tell her that I don't play the game of "what ifs"; I like to deal with what is happening right now and not worry about something made up. Well, I was thinking about that answer and I realized, that isn't exactly true.
Every one of us worries about something; or some things. We are all afraid even though we hate that word. Afraid. Scaredy-cat. Worrywart. Chicken. These terms are demeaning and make us seem weak and insecure so we deny them, but if we're honest, we all let fear seep into the cracks of our lives. I used to say I wasn't afraid of anything because I liked spiders and heights didn't bother me and I learned to love the dark and that basically covered the main fears. Of course this was when I was in high school and was confident that I'd graduate, go straight to college, get a fabulous job, fall in love and get married, and let life work out just for me. Since then, I've discovered, I get scared; I play the "what if" game in my head. What if I get to be another year older and still nothing has changed? What if someone else asks me what I'm doing with my life and I don't have a good answer? What if they think less of me? What if they forget me? What if I had stayed? What if I fall to that same temptation again? What if that voice in my head that beats me up never goes away? What if he had loved me? What if I were more lovable? What if I'm not lovable? What if this is it?
Those are real questions that I just climbed up into the attic of my mind to retrieve. I wasn't planning on doing this, but why don't you take just a second to do that yourself. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and think about the "what ifs" that haunt you without you even realizing it. It's okay, I'll wait...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj0ChLVTpaA
Ready? Were you surprised by what you found? Maybe... or maybe you knew what was waiting there. What if I never get married? What if I get divorced? What if that relationship never gets mended? What if I get sick? What if lose my job? What if I can't afford my car? What if someone I love gets cancer? What if someone I love dies? What if he leaves me? What if I never find a friend I can trust? What if I never learn to forgive him? What if she never forgives me? What if I never reach my dreams?
These thoughts that take up space in our heads can do far more damage than we realize. We become a different version of ourselves when the fears we hate come out of hiding. Confidences are shaken and insecurities take over. Patience is gone, because what if we don't have time?! Instead we are short and annoyed. Generosity must leave to make way for stinginess and selfishness. Love becomes conditional and temporary instead of abundant and wholehearted. We cast off the Fruits of the Spirit and reap the Fruits of Fear. The greatest tragedy is that when we are ruled by fear we lose our witness. We lose the opportunity to be an example to those who do not know the saving truth that we carry. 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to be ready whenever anyone asks a reason for the hope that is within us but how will anyone ever ask if hope has been replaced by despair, anger, loneliness, bitterness? The God of all Grace and has called us to eternal glory in Christ Jesus! Where is our hope?
Do you know what I have come to love most about the Old Testament? God speaking to His people. Sometimes He sent a messenger, sometimes He spoke to one and told them to tell the others, sometimes it's not clear if He whispered in someone's ear or just opened up the sky and shouted everything to everyone. I don't understand a lot of things and this is one of them and yet I am drawn to a God with a personality who is not just observing His world and His people but is in every moment of their lives telling them the foundations to build their lives on and to pass down to their children's children's children. One of those foundations I think is written on nearly every page of scripture: DO NOT FEAR. That is more than a suggestion; it's a command.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
It is easy to say to a friend, "don't worry about it." It's easy to look from the outside in and tell others to be brave. But when the voice in your head sends a message to your heart and all of a sudden you are surrounded by the uncertainties you run from, how helpful does it seem to hear these same words? Is fear as crippling for you as it is for me?
I tell my sweet little cousin I don't answer "what ifs." Well, what if I did?
Or better yet, what if I found my answer from the God of all Grace?
What if I am alone?
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:11)
What if they hurt me or turn on me? What if they have power over me and they abuse it?
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)
What if I fail? What if I'm not strong enough and I give in to the pressure?
You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you. (Deuteronomy 3:22)
Oh! How I love that verse. The Lord, yes the Lord your God, yes the Lord your God HIMSELF fights for you! He battles for you. He goes up against your enemies, He takes on your demons and He does it for you! And not only that...
And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world. (1 John 2:1b-2) (**not to change the subject, but this verse alone sort of kicks Calvinism in the teeth.)
Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. (Hebrews 7:25)
Jesus Christ, the Son of God who lived a perfect life and died our death and took the punishment for our sins and then conquered death by rising from the grave and leaving no room for fear and then ascending into Heaven where He will one day take us to live for all eternity is advocating and interceding on our behalf. Can you fathom that? Can you just let that sink in. He is God. And He is on your side. He is on my side. Whom shall I fear?
I have forever carried with me what I was told by my "second dad" if you will (not that I need another one), on a mission trip to the Philippines. When discussing what things could happen he asked us, "What is so scary about that? All they can do is take your life... and they can't even do that unless God has appointed this to be your time to die. If now is your time to die then no doctor, no medicine, nothing is going to give you another second of life and if it is not your time to die, no man (or disease or catastrophe or accident) on this planet can touch you."
Whom shall I fear?
The namesake of this blog comes from Matthew 6:25-34. Christ is speaking there and He is compelling His followers to put away worry and anxiety and stress and instead trust a God who takes care of lilies and sparrows because you better believe that He loves you more than either of those things. You are His child! His precious child.
We all have fears, but it is a choice to live in them. If we continue to be swayed by worries we will come to the end of our lives without having been a witness for Jesus Christ and we will have hindered others from seeing Him in our lives. We can never be separated from Him, He is with us always, no one can touch us outside of His plan, what others mean for evil He means for good. This promises series started because I wanted to preach God's promises to my soul. There could be no better practice than this. Your fears may not disappear and it may be a battle you will continually fight with yourself, but you are not fighting alone and your team mate has never lost a fight. And guess what? He never will. I promise (but don't take my word for it.)
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,In this I will be confident. (Psalm 27:1-3)
You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you. (Deuteronomy 3:22)
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:6-11)
When I was younger (and truthfully not much younger) I had a really difficult time with the Old Testament. I liked the Sunday School stories and some of the images were fun to concoct in my imagination. I'd think about what it would be like to be on a single boat with both snakes and mice, both hawks and rabbits. I'd wonder how tall Goliath really was. My favorite was always the parting of the Red Sea. I'd close my eyes and picture walking through the middle of two walls of water so high above my head that I couldn't see the sky. I'd pretend to run my hand along the water and then worry that I might knock it down. Even with all that fun however, the Old Testament always seemed so separate; so foreign. I didn't see how verses and stories could relate to me because I wasn't likely to be in a war with swords and spears being thrown around me, and that seemed to be an element of almost all the stories I heard. It has only been recently that God has started to whisper truths to my heart that I find while reading the Old Testament.
One of my little cousins who I have been living with has a knack for asking "what if" questions. She can take any normal situation and move it to an absurd place far from reality just to ask you what you would do if that were the case. I don't normally answer these questions, I simply tell her that I don't play the game of "what ifs"; I like to deal with what is happening right now and not worry about something made up. Well, I was thinking about that answer and I realized, that isn't exactly true.
Every one of us worries about something; or some things. We are all afraid even though we hate that word. Afraid. Scaredy-cat. Worrywart. Chicken. These terms are demeaning and make us seem weak and insecure so we deny them, but if we're honest, we all let fear seep into the cracks of our lives. I used to say I wasn't afraid of anything because I liked spiders and heights didn't bother me and I learned to love the dark and that basically covered the main fears. Of course this was when I was in high school and was confident that I'd graduate, go straight to college, get a fabulous job, fall in love and get married, and let life work out just for me. Since then, I've discovered, I get scared; I play the "what if" game in my head. What if I get to be another year older and still nothing has changed? What if someone else asks me what I'm doing with my life and I don't have a good answer? What if they think less of me? What if they forget me? What if I had stayed? What if I fall to that same temptation again? What if that voice in my head that beats me up never goes away? What if he had loved me? What if I were more lovable? What if I'm not lovable? What if this is it?
Those are real questions that I just climbed up into the attic of my mind to retrieve. I wasn't planning on doing this, but why don't you take just a second to do that yourself. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and think about the "what ifs" that haunt you without you even realizing it. It's okay, I'll wait...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj0ChLVTpaA
Ready? Were you surprised by what you found? Maybe... or maybe you knew what was waiting there. What if I never get married? What if I get divorced? What if that relationship never gets mended? What if I get sick? What if lose my job? What if I can't afford my car? What if someone I love gets cancer? What if someone I love dies? What if he leaves me? What if I never find a friend I can trust? What if I never learn to forgive him? What if she never forgives me? What if I never reach my dreams?
These thoughts that take up space in our heads can do far more damage than we realize. We become a different version of ourselves when the fears we hate come out of hiding. Confidences are shaken and insecurities take over. Patience is gone, because what if we don't have time?! Instead we are short and annoyed. Generosity must leave to make way for stinginess and selfishness. Love becomes conditional and temporary instead of abundant and wholehearted. We cast off the Fruits of the Spirit and reap the Fruits of Fear. The greatest tragedy is that when we are ruled by fear we lose our witness. We lose the opportunity to be an example to those who do not know the saving truth that we carry. 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to be ready whenever anyone asks a reason for the hope that is within us but how will anyone ever ask if hope has been replaced by despair, anger, loneliness, bitterness? The God of all Grace and has called us to eternal glory in Christ Jesus! Where is our hope?
Do you know what I have come to love most about the Old Testament? God speaking to His people. Sometimes He sent a messenger, sometimes He spoke to one and told them to tell the others, sometimes it's not clear if He whispered in someone's ear or just opened up the sky and shouted everything to everyone. I don't understand a lot of things and this is one of them and yet I am drawn to a God with a personality who is not just observing His world and His people but is in every moment of their lives telling them the foundations to build their lives on and to pass down to their children's children's children. One of those foundations I think is written on nearly every page of scripture: DO NOT FEAR. That is more than a suggestion; it's a command.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
It is easy to say to a friend, "don't worry about it." It's easy to look from the outside in and tell others to be brave. But when the voice in your head sends a message to your heart and all of a sudden you are surrounded by the uncertainties you run from, how helpful does it seem to hear these same words? Is fear as crippling for you as it is for me?
I tell my sweet little cousin I don't answer "what ifs." Well, what if I did?
Or better yet, what if I found my answer from the God of all Grace?
What if I am alone?
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:11)
What if they hurt me or turn on me? What if they have power over me and they abuse it?
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)
What if I fail? What if I'm not strong enough and I give in to the pressure?
You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you. (Deuteronomy 3:22)
Oh! How I love that verse. The Lord, yes the Lord your God, yes the Lord your God HIMSELF fights for you! He battles for you. He goes up against your enemies, He takes on your demons and He does it for you! And not only that...
And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world. (1 John 2:1b-2) (**not to change the subject, but this verse alone sort of kicks Calvinism in the teeth.)
Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. (Hebrews 7:25)
Jesus Christ, the Son of God who lived a perfect life and died our death and took the punishment for our sins and then conquered death by rising from the grave and leaving no room for fear and then ascending into Heaven where He will one day take us to live for all eternity is advocating and interceding on our behalf. Can you fathom that? Can you just let that sink in. He is God. And He is on your side. He is on my side. Whom shall I fear?
I have forever carried with me what I was told by my "second dad" if you will (not that I need another one), on a mission trip to the Philippines. When discussing what things could happen he asked us, "What is so scary about that? All they can do is take your life... and they can't even do that unless God has appointed this to be your time to die. If now is your time to die then no doctor, no medicine, nothing is going to give you another second of life and if it is not your time to die, no man (or disease or catastrophe or accident) on this planet can touch you."
Whom shall I fear?
The namesake of this blog comes from Matthew 6:25-34. Christ is speaking there and He is compelling His followers to put away worry and anxiety and stress and instead trust a God who takes care of lilies and sparrows because you better believe that He loves you more than either of those things. You are His child! His precious child.
We all have fears, but it is a choice to live in them. If we continue to be swayed by worries we will come to the end of our lives without having been a witness for Jesus Christ and we will have hindered others from seeing Him in our lives. We can never be separated from Him, He is with us always, no one can touch us outside of His plan, what others mean for evil He means for good. This promises series started because I wanted to preach God's promises to my soul. There could be no better practice than this. Your fears may not disappear and it may be a battle you will continually fight with yourself, but you are not fighting alone and your team mate has never lost a fight. And guess what? He never will. I promise (but don't take my word for it.)
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 31-39)
Additional verses:
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Top 5 Movies: Make Me Feel Like A Kid
I've decided to start a bit of a lighter series of posts entitled, Top 5 Movies. So many times in the past (and very recently with my cousins) I have been involved in a conversation of favorite movies and as always, I feel torn between too many film allegiances to pick a solid winner or even a top five. My solution: Top 5 movies for as many and as specific of categories as I chose. So, let's get started! (Side note: as this is my blog, these are obviously my opinions. Feel free to share yours in the comments!) Our first category is...
MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN
Qualifications: This list is not for "great kids movies" or even "movies you loved as a kid." This is for movies that no matter your age, fill you with the carefree warmth of being a child. While watching these movies, you feel like time has paused and you can just be ten again.
5. Swiss Family Robinson
Seriously, who didn't want to live in that tree house?! This movie has pirates, coconut bombs, a shipwreck... ostrich races!!! I always imagined, as a kid, that getting stranded on a desert island could be as awesome as this and every time I watch it now, I believe that I could crash land somewhere and build a mansion with very little trouble, while defending my family from... Japanese pirates? Even now, whenever I am in some tree-filled, fresh-water situation I imagine swimming back to the stranded boat for supplies, being brought to shore by a sea turtle, rescuing the captives from the pirates, and of course, falling in love with Ernst (I always liked him more than Fritz). I think this is the adventure every child (and secretly, every adult) dreams to take.
4. My Girl
Apart from having one of the greatest movie sound tracks of all time, this movie captures love, hormones, and heartbreak from a child's perspective. I wanted to be like Vada and now when I look back I want to believe I was like her. Her relationship with Thomas is something everyone should want for their own kids and Jamie Lee Curtis was about the best step-mom anyone could ask for. I love Vada's crush on her teacher; something most young girls have experienced; and her little smashed heart when she finds out he's engaged. Nothing could possibly hurt, however, as much as seeing her walk up to Thomas' casket and beg for someone to put his glasses on so he can see. Everyone wanted a best friend like that, but everyone feared losing that friend too. Like Vada, in my darkest moments I went to a song (hers was Do Wa Diddy, mine was Rainy Days and Mondays) but I never had to battle the deep and scarring battles that she did. I think I felt that if I ever did though, I'd be going through it with her.
3. The Sound of Music
The scene opens and we fly over the Austrian mountainside, the music begins to play and then there she is: that little singing nun who taught us solfege and that some men are perfect enough for us to ditch our religions. Okay, okay, only kidding. But seriously, Christopher Plummer was one of the first men to make my heart skip a beat. When that strong sea captain pulls out the guitar and his softer side and sings "Eidelweiss" we learned what a real man was. Each song is special (except for "Climb Every Mountain"... did everyone else always fast forward through that one?) and I still can't help but sing along. There are so many magical moments in this movie: Maria and the Captain's dance at the party, the first time you hear her voice breaking into the song when she returns from the abbey, ripping the Nazi flag. That last one is interesting though, because it wasn't until I watched this movie as an adult that I really understood the political implications it portrayed. I don't remember actually understanding that Ralph became a Nazi (or that he was in cahoots with the butler), that the army was trying to force Captain Von Trapp to fight for Germany, or what could be done to the family if they were caught running away. I just knew some bad men and scary music chased them around the nuns' house. Things really are simpler for kids. However, as an adult, I have a new kind of love and admiration for the second half of the film. The way Captain Von Trapp adores Maria, and the way she has matured and turned into a beautiful mother and wife makes me smile long after the credits role. When the whole family, and then the whole audience, sings "Edelweiss" because the Captain cannot finish it alone, knowing that he must leave the country he loves so much, my heart shatters. My favorite thing about this movie is the complete honor and integrity of the Captain and Maria and consequently the children too. This family is strong and, as all the kids know, they will beat the Nazis in the end because they will take care of each other... even if they are living in the Swiss Alps!
2. Hook
It is only appropriate to include in this list a movie set in the land where you are not allowed to grow up. What a fantastic movie to bring back all the wonder of being a child. I still intend to one day have a food fight as colorful and exciting as in this film. This movie makes it easy to believe that somewhere out there (passed the second star on the right) there really is a land of green-haired mermaids and imaginary food and all four seasons at once and of course, Dustin Hoffman terrorizing all the lost boys. Beyond the excitement of trips to Neverland, this movie carries a much more powerful message of the importance of family and especially a call to fathers to acknowledge the gift that their children are. This movie reminded us as children that we were the most special thing our parents could ever have; that they would rather be with us than on any adventure to any faraway land. Also, we could rest at ease knowing if we were ever kidnapped by pirates that Phil Collins would put on a silly costume and head up the investigation (there are actually loads of funny cameos in this one-- Glenn Close!) This could possibly be the best family movie ever.
1. The Sandlot
I couldn't resist putting The Sandlot at #1. If you're an American you should have seen this coming; if not, I hope you one day understand the greatness of this film. Now take off your hats, put your hand over your heart, and look to the sky, because the fire works are starting and Ray Charles is about to sing, "America, The Beautiful". This may be a movie full of boys, but all genders and ages can appreciate the simplicity and innocence of this ultimate children's movie. And it's so funny! Oh, "you're killing me, Smalls" became an anthem for us every time we had s'mores and I'm pretty sure that every young boy at a public swimming pool dreamed of manning up like Squints and kissing the lifeguard of their dreams. From tobacco on fair rides, to collecting bottle caps, to idolizing Babe Ruth, to riding your bike with your best friends all over town, this movie celebrates an era long gone and joy that will perhaps never be known again. As an adult, I watch this movie and long for this time to return, if not for me, then for any future children. I'll have to move on and understand that this golden era isn't returning, but thankfully, it was captured so flawlessly in this film and I promise that any kids of mine will learn to appreciate these nine boys as much as I did and do.
MOVIES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN
Qualifications: This list is not for "great kids movies" or even "movies you loved as a kid." This is for movies that no matter your age, fill you with the carefree warmth of being a child. While watching these movies, you feel like time has paused and you can just be ten again.
5. Swiss Family Robinson
Seriously, who didn't want to live in that tree house?! This movie has pirates, coconut bombs, a shipwreck... ostrich races!!! I always imagined, as a kid, that getting stranded on a desert island could be as awesome as this and every time I watch it now, I believe that I could crash land somewhere and build a mansion with very little trouble, while defending my family from... Japanese pirates? Even now, whenever I am in some tree-filled, fresh-water situation I imagine swimming back to the stranded boat for supplies, being brought to shore by a sea turtle, rescuing the captives from the pirates, and of course, falling in love with Ernst (I always liked him more than Fritz). I think this is the adventure every child (and secretly, every adult) dreams to take.4. My Girl
3. The Sound of Music
The scene opens and we fly over the Austrian mountainside, the music begins to play and then there she is: that little singing nun who taught us solfege and that some men are perfect enough for us to ditch our religions. Okay, okay, only kidding. But seriously, Christopher Plummer was one of the first men to make my heart skip a beat. When that strong sea captain pulls out the guitar and his softer side and sings "Eidelweiss" we learned what a real man was. Each song is special (except for "Climb Every Mountain"... did everyone else always fast forward through that one?) and I still can't help but sing along. There are so many magical moments in this movie: Maria and the Captain's dance at the party, the first time you hear her voice breaking into the song when she returns from the abbey, ripping the Nazi flag. That last one is interesting though, because it wasn't until I watched this movie as an adult that I really understood the political implications it portrayed. I don't remember actually understanding that Ralph became a Nazi (or that he was in cahoots with the butler), that the army was trying to force Captain Von Trapp to fight for Germany, or what could be done to the family if they were caught running away. I just knew some bad men and scary music chased them around the nuns' house. Things really are simpler for kids. However, as an adult, I have a new kind of love and admiration for the second half of the film. The way Captain Von Trapp adores Maria, and the way she has matured and turned into a beautiful mother and wife makes me smile long after the credits role. When the whole family, and then the whole audience, sings "Edelweiss" because the Captain cannot finish it alone, knowing that he must leave the country he loves so much, my heart shatters. My favorite thing about this movie is the complete honor and integrity of the Captain and Maria and consequently the children too. This family is strong and, as all the kids know, they will beat the Nazis in the end because they will take care of each other... even if they are living in the Swiss Alps!2. Hook
It is only appropriate to include in this list a movie set in the land where you are not allowed to grow up. What a fantastic movie to bring back all the wonder of being a child. I still intend to one day have a food fight as colorful and exciting as in this film. This movie makes it easy to believe that somewhere out there (passed the second star on the right) there really is a land of green-haired mermaids and imaginary food and all four seasons at once and of course, Dustin Hoffman terrorizing all the lost boys. Beyond the excitement of trips to Neverland, this movie carries a much more powerful message of the importance of family and especially a call to fathers to acknowledge the gift that their children are. This movie reminded us as children that we were the most special thing our parents could ever have; that they would rather be with us than on any adventure to any faraway land. Also, we could rest at ease knowing if we were ever kidnapped by pirates that Phil Collins would put on a silly costume and head up the investigation (there are actually loads of funny cameos in this one-- Glenn Close!) This could possibly be the best family movie ever.1. The Sandlot
I couldn't resist putting The Sandlot at #1. If you're an American you should have seen this coming; if not, I hope you one day understand the greatness of this film. Now take off your hats, put your hand over your heart, and look to the sky, because the fire works are starting and Ray Charles is about to sing, "America, The Beautiful". This may be a movie full of boys, but all genders and ages can appreciate the simplicity and innocence of this ultimate children's movie. And it's so funny! Oh, "you're killing me, Smalls" became an anthem for us every time we had s'mores and I'm pretty sure that every young boy at a public swimming pool dreamed of manning up like Squints and kissing the lifeguard of their dreams. From tobacco on fair rides, to collecting bottle caps, to idolizing Babe Ruth, to riding your bike with your best friends all over town, this movie celebrates an era long gone and joy that will perhaps never be known again. As an adult, I watch this movie and long for this time to return, if not for me, then for any future children. I'll have to move on and understand that this golden era isn't returning, but thankfully, it was captured so flawlessly in this film and I promise that any kids of mine will learn to appreciate these nine boys as much as I did and do.
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